Unfriend on FB

So I don't like to be negative on my Facebook. So I will be negative on my blog. I'm "unfriend"ing people for the next few days on Facebook.

My plan is to keep my family and friends and get rid of all the acquaintances or people I don't care to be in touch with.  Life is too short to spend on keeping up with people that annoy the crap out of me or vice versa.

Here is to facebook clean up 2012!!!   Earlier today I had 570 people as my friends...let's see how low the number will go.

37 starting with a bang

It's almost 4am. I'm still up. Yesterday was a fantantic Birthday! I got to spend it with all the people that I love very dearly.

The reason I'm still up...I almost got into a physical fight with a white male...a stranger at a bowling alley.

Tonight Ryan and friends took me "disco" bowling...you know where they turn up the music and turn down the lights kind of bowling. It didn't start until midnight. Around 1:30 am some punk ass who had been bowling next to us decided that after getting in my personal space all night that he was going to introduce himself to me. I told him look I'm not interested in getting to know you. He then proceeded to get in my face again...inches away. I shoved him hard and yell in his face to get out of my face. He then got in my face and was threating me. I lost it...I shoved him hard again. From there let's just say that I called the cops...and no one was hurt...but it just bugged me so much that this guy was threating all the women around him.  I am so disguised by what happened. I really wanted to hurt him.  I don't do well with MEN who like to hurt and threaten women!

I'm still so mad and shaken up by this piece of shit I had to encounter tonight.

I need to take self defend classes or something.

Personal time

I survived this week at work. It was a stressful week. For two and 1/2 years I have been heading up a project for my department. We finally went live with this new system on Tuesday 1/18/11. I had folks from Minneapolis in town and they helped me with all our not foresee issues. THANK GOODNESS they were here. 

Now I'm moving on to my personal life stress...I believe next friday I will get my first shot of Lupron. And then the countdown for my surgery will begin.  Six week. I'm more at peace with it now. Knowing that I'm going through with it and that I will be okay...makes me feel better.

February is fast approaching and I'm trying to figure out what I should get Ryan for our anniversary. 11 years together...maybe I should look up what the traditional wedding gifts are for that year. Any ideas?

I may not be as active on Facebook or blogger the next few weeks. I really need to get ready for this surgery.  I hope my friends don't hate me for it.

Friends with babies make me happy!

Good things are happening. 2011 is looking great so far!

Busy as hell at work. Worked late this week and working late next two weeks. I have been heading up this big project for my department for over two years now.  The transition happens on January 18th and I'm excited and stressed about it. It should go well...but I always worry.  Job Security is what I have right now and it feels good.

Lost the weight I gain during the holidays plus a pound or two! Yes!

Happy my friend Vicki had her baby boy that she worked so hard to have! So happy for her tonight!

I had an awesome doctor's appointment on Monday. I love this new doctor!  Anyway I may start Lupron next week. OH MAN...I will go through menopause at 36.  Ryan is really looking forward to that.

Going to bed and feeling positive and happy.
Nite Nite!

My 2011 Motto...Never give up.

So it's 2011 and I'm happy to say I have resolutions for this new year. Believe it or not I have never made resolutions ever in the past.

Here they are:

• By June 2011, I will have figured out what I will do with "my problem" and that probably means an abdominal myomectomy. Like any major surgery there are risks...lots of blood loss (blood transfusion), possible hysterectomy if I bleed too much, scar tissue or adhesions post surgery. It all scares me to death!  But sometimes you need to go for it... no matter what happens.  And for the first time in a long time I need to start having faith, be positive and pray to God that this surgery will work out for me.  I hope that by June I will have had the myomectomy and be healing well from it. My plan is to be under the knife in late March. I found this today and I think I need to read it quite often to help me remember that I need to be focused.  It's from my MRI done on 3-23-2010.  "A large fibroid is identified within the right side of the uterine body that displaces the endometrial stripe toward the left. Fibroid dimensions are estimated at 9.3 x 8.9 x 8 cm." 
• By March 2011, I would like to lose 20 to 30 more pounds. I need to start working out again-Kickboxing, Just Dance on the Wii, walking my dogs and walking with my co worker for 1/2 hour every weekday.  I want to also focus on working my ab muscles. I need them to be strong for my surgery.  I want to do a detox cleanse. No caffeine, low carbs, no sugars, lots of veggies and fruits. It is going to kill me. If Kate is reading this...we need to start next week girl!  After the detox, I want to continue to eat healthier, more organic, more raw, more legumes for iron, no red meats, no more frozen foods, less dairy and less carbs. 
• In 2011 I don't want to deal with DRAMA. Ryan always tells me that I expect way too much from people and that it always disappoints me. I will try to have minimal expectations of friends. I will work on my current friendships and try to be a good listener without getting involved in drama. 
• My last goal is to finish my knitted cardigan that I stopped working on in 2009.  I want to wear this cardigan by next fall. I will be so proud. It will be my first adult size sweater.

There you have it. My resolutions for 2011. I'm excited to complete these. I'm hopeful in the results of my surgery. 

Christmas Eve Eve

I have had a ton of emotions today and damn it this is my blog and I can bitch on it when I want to!!!

So happy that I have NO drama in my circle of friends right now. Here is for a "DRAMA free" 2011! I might even "clean up" my facebook friend list on New Year's day!

People need to get over things. Life is short and people make mistakes. You are not perfect and yes we know you love your boundaries but really GET OVER IT. Learn to forgive and try to forgot.

It really made me smile tonight when my husband said "hearing that laugh really made me want to punch that person"!  My hubby was actually passionate about hitting someone for me. I heart my hubby.

I found out today someone "important" doesn't trust me but is almost there with trusting me only because someone else told them I was trustworthy.   I appreciate that someone who has my back and I don't appreciate that someone else has been judging me without knowing me. People can really disappointment me sometimes. We are just all stupid human beings that can be so judging and hurtful. So glad that this "important" person is nothing of mine...not a family member or friend.

It's a few minutes before midnight and Christmas Eve. I will try to be good to other humans even though they don't deserve it. Tomorrow I will be in a better mood I promise.

knitting scarves

This year I decided I would make a cowl for all the women in my immediate family who live here in Utah. Today I am starting on the last one! I'm so excited to give these to my mom, sister, two sister in laws and my two nieces. I love my family and they better appreciate it!

Grinderman 11-29-10 Warfield San Francisco

My obsession started in 1999 when my husband sent me a copy of the "Boatman's Call" album. At the time we were dating long distance. I was in New York City and Ryan was living in Salem Utah. I remember loving Nick Cave's voice and the lyrics.  In February 2000, Ryan and I got married and we played many of Nick Cave's songs at the reception including "into my arms" which is on Boatman's Call.

This is our 6th time Ryan and I have seen Nick Cave in concert. Grinderman is Nick's side project and is more of Nick's version of a rock band.  Most of the band members are required to have facial hair when they perform...I think...I might be wrong. I like Nick without facial hair...I don't like facial hair on Ryan too. 

We have made many friends over the years at Nick Cave shows. We always try to arrive early to get a good view in the front row. It is the only way to see Nick Cave.

Ryan's close friend (and mine too) Matt who lives in the San Francisco area was able to join us again this year. Matt saw the last Grinderman show and he also saw Nick with us at the Warfield two years ago.

This year we were joined by Susan and Jesse. These guys are so talented and fun people to hang out with.  I wish we lived closer to them.

We also reconnected with the lovely Beverly and her wonderful husband Dave. Beverly has seen Nick perform so many times. It makes me wish I could have been into Nick's music earlier in my life.

Anyway here are pics I took from that wonderful night (11-29-10) at the Warfield...enjoy! 

Ryan and I right before we went inside. I was tired already from standing outside for two hours.

Matt finally met us inside.

Still waiting for Nick Cave.

Beverly and Dave excited to see Nick and crew.

Finally Nick came out...so handsome and I love his suits...he is one good looking man!

I know for sure that this is my hand!

Is this my hand or Beverly's? I touch his shoes and leg a few times.

I am a total dork I KNOW. I just had to take this pic. KOOL AID SMILE!

The set list. Susan was the lucky girl who got it.

After the show we went to try to get some food. Starbucks was the only place opened.

Holiday cards

Just got home from a vacation to our favorite California city. I left my heart in San Francisco. Oh how I love that city.

So tonight I got my USPS stamps and I'm starting on my holiday cards. I just went through my list of recipients and funny how things change in a year. That is all I will say. Can't wait to sit down tomorrow and start writing little messages to all our family and friends.

I will post pictures of our trip the next few days...especially the pictures of the Grinderman concert(Nick Cave's band).

Long time no see!

So I have been thinking about blogging recently. I just looked at my last post and it was done two years ago. Boy I'm a slacker.

I'm having a hard time sleeping right now. It sucks. I have a lot on my mind.

Life has been good. I need to remember that.

Things are great at work...I have a great boss, lots to do, people look to me for help more than ever and I think they respect me and I guess you could say I'm a "leader".

Ryan...is still the best thing in my life. My best friend and the sweetest person I have ever known. We had our ten year wedding anniversary in February and we went on a Caribbean Cruise to celebrate this milestone.

I'm always busy with "craft projects". Currently I am knitting a baby sweater for my friend Vic who is having a baby boy in January. Her baby shower is this Saturday and I'm hoping it will be done by then. And I almost forgot to mention...I tried to make our Halloween costumes this year. My mom and sister ended up helping me with most of my dress.

I'm also proud to announce that I have lost 53 pounds since changing my eating habits and trying to be more active.

Also this year I found out that I have a 7cm fibroid in the wall of my uterus. For two years I have been dealing with discomfort and pressure in my pelvic area. This is also the reason why I have never been pregnant. I guess it has been hard to deal with. But I'm dealing with it. I decided in March/April that I needed to be positive and do everything that I could to try to "fix" myself.

Seven months have passed and I'm almost made up my mind.. in 2011 I will have a myomectomy done. I have never had surgery and I'm a bit afraid. The next few months will be super busy with the holidays and preparing my body for a major surgery. My goal will be to lose more weight (maybe 20 more pounds) and also visit my current doctors and maybe get more opinions.

I never thought that having kids would be such a big fucking deal for me. I need to remember that no matter what happens...I need to be happy.

I usually don't mind talking about my personal life and this one is EXTREMELY emotional for me. But I feel better writing it down tonight.